Random thoughts in the middle of the night...

I was watching the French Open the other week and all I could think as Roger Federer casually destroyed that bloke, who had somehow managed to defeat Raphael Nadal, was why can't the commentators find a way to describe the action on the court without using the words "one way traffic."?
It's 1:44 am. I was exhausted an hour ago, then started watching Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe. Now I'm awake and restless and have once again been reassured that Charlie Brooker is the most important man in the printed and television media.
I still can't get over how good Joel Plaskett's latest single Through and through and through is. Really, I can't believe it's not on every radio station in the western world. I missed his show at Massey Hall in Toronto back in May and just recently found out I will miss Sonic Youth at Massey Hall at the end of June. As well as a free Broken Social Scene show at the Harbour Front in a few weeks. And an endless list of other shows. I always forget how much I miss Toronto when I leave it until I leave it again. Especially leaving it at the very first breath of Summer. Toronto is a beautiful, beautiful place in the summertime. Although memories of last summer in my tiny air conditionless apartment trying to sleep in 35-40 degree temperatures and 100% humidity and all my memories of the previous winter ,walking to work in -30 degree temperatures make my home sickness much easier to deal with.
I took a bus up to Ambleside,up in the Lakes District, early Friday morning. I hiked up Wansfell Pike. A walk which by all accounts is one of the easier hikes you can do in the area. The first two hours are up hill, and on this day were utterly utterly humiliating. It was like getting viciously punched in the face, belly and legs simultaneously by the painful realisation of just how out of shape I, apparently, am. It was infuriating. I got there in the end, ate my Sweet Tomatoe and chilli chutney with Vintage Cheese sandwich, drank some water,soaked up the views and enjoyed the last three hours of the walk but man alive. Those first two hours were depressing. Almost as depressing as getting back into Ambleside, finding a pub with a nice patio and then finding out that instead of the delicious Magners Pear cidar, they had Bulmers Pear cidar. People have tried to tell me its the same,but really it's a poor substitute. I drank it anyway, read some of my book and then slept most of the bus ride home. Is this what happens when you reach the tender age of thirty?
I've also joined the gym and am trying to go 4-5 times a week. Which thanks to the wonderful people at the offices of UK Immigration,has been made very easy. Having no recourse to work or to public funds and all. You can call me a man of leisure for the time being.
The big day is coming up and still doesn't feel quite real. That's probably why I don't feel much anxiety. I assume that will hit me soon enough though. Right now I just feel excited. I have my suit and my electric shoes and can't wait to see everybody. It will be kind of surreal to have people from my whole life together in one room, if you know what I mean. Having my family and Canadian friends, and my travelling friends and my Barrow friends and Nic's family and friends all together will be strange and amazing.
The stag is fast approaching. We leave this Saturday at 11am. Possibly never to be seen again. I'm looking forward to it.
On an entirely different subject, has anyone else noticed the people on Come dine with me are now simply a ridiculous group of circus freaks? I swear they were normal a couple of years ago? Weren't they?
Oh and I have been working on the wedding playlist for the last few weeks. The first draft came in at nineteen hours. I figured that would probably have to be cut down. Or maybe the party should just be nineteen hours?! In a perfect world it would be. I have cut out some of the fat. It currently sits at a slim and trim fourteen hours. The really painful part was realising I still have to cut about eight hours off of that. Tears will be shed,oh yes,tears will be shed.
Speaking of music, if I hear Bonkers by Dizzee Rascal one more time I'm gonna do something drastic. I'm very excited about the new Sonic Youth record, and the new Hayden record and the new Bike for three record. I'm seriously digging the new single by Empire of the Sun. Anyone familiar with the first record Lovers by The Sleepy Jackson really shouldn't be surprised by how good this new project is. Luke Steel is some kind of weird Aussie genius. I mean I'm as sick sick sick of the on going eighties love fest as everyone else should be,but Empire of the sun is an exception. Although I really should reserve my verdict until I actually hear the entire album.
Oh and the other day on Ninja Warrior,the most entertaining show on television, they revealed a brand new obstacle course! Miraculously, the brilliant minds who work on Ninja Warrior have managed to make the course harder than ever. If you haven't watched this show yet I highly recommend you give it a shot.It's a Japanese game show kind of like Takashi's Castle only less ridiculous, more fun and without those weird guys in the nightmarish costumes. Ninja Warrior is a legitimate contest. And the exaggerated english commentary is fantastic.
Anyway, I'm gonna go to bed, but before I do I want to reiterate my initial statement regarding Charlie Brooker. He is probably the most important man working in the pop culture media. He definately is the most important man working in the english pop culture media. His only possible north american rivals being Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart. And that is high praise indeed. If you haven't yet you should check him out. Either in his weekly column in the Guardian or on his late night TV show Charlie Brooker's Screen Wipe.
Oh and the other day I saw a news story about a four year old boy who wanted to give his new born Cockerspanial puppy a wash and ended up flushing it down the toilet. Miraculously they rescued it from inside the plumbing and the dog is fine. And they got some amazing footage of the puppy stuck in the pipe. This world is a weird and ridiculous place.
Good night.