Spring is here and I have blathering to do.

Well,hello lovely readers and fellow wayward journeymen(and women).If anyone is really out there.I can't believe how long its been since I was last on here.I blame that gargantuan intergalactic nemesis most of the world,myself included,passively refers to as facebook.That all consuming time sucking life destroying baby killing social networking website designed to make all the poor socially retarded souls out there in internetland believe they have friends.Two hundred people in their friends list they may or may not have ever actually met in person.People whose profiles they can peruse from the safety of their darkened bedrooms or apartments or dungeons and in doing such can convince themselves they are maintaining genuine relationships and that they are not all alone in this big scary world.Its socializing without the irritation of actually having to go out and socialize.To actually have to bare the presence of real people.To risk...accidentally making physical contact with a real human being.
Says the man talking to you on his blog.The man writing this in a bedroom,all alone,listening to Joanna Newsom.I also blame twitter.The newest in social networking websites,a band wagon everyone seems to be jumping on and a website whose purpose I honestly still can't comprehend.
I mean if we're being honest,we really prefer the old fashioned blogs particular type of social networking.This blog specifically.Seriously,on here its all about me!Me me me me me.Its not cluttered up with other peoples dumb thoughts and opinions.On here I'm god.
Ok,so I don't know where I was going with that.Just having a bit of mindless fun,playing with the mild god complex I seem to be cultivating.I don't know.
Its raining here in Toronto.Been raining all day.I really should have been wearing shoes without holes in them.If I had of taken Kev's sweet shoes when I had the chance I'd of been fine.Or if I had of simply worn the shoes I have at home without holes in them.Whichever.
A side note:everyone really should listen to Joanna Newsoms record Ys at least once a day.At the very very least everyone in the world should listen to the song Emily off of Joanna Newsoms last record Ys at least once a day.Seriously.It might be the most beautiful song I have ever heard.I literally have to limit myself to listening to it a few times a month because it gets me all worked up.I start to feel stuff,weird swirly scary things I've heard some people refer to as emotions.Its very overwhelming.Normally I try and reserve these weird swirly emotion things specifically for football matches.If I ever watched Liverpool FC whilst listening to Emily by Joanna Newsom,well,shit.Lets just hope those two things never come together.I don't know if I'm emotionally stable enough to withstand such an assault.I mean,watching Fernando Hunky Torres running with the ball is almost too much for me on its own.
On a more serious note,although really whats more serious than football?,as you've all heard I'm done gettin hitched!I'm just waiting for the visa clearance to come through and than I can book my flight over to the sunny United Kingdom and we can finally get this planned properly.Its a very exciting time.And quite possibly the first time in my twenty-nine years I've made a real adult decision.It was scary as hell too.My Mom agrees that making your first adult decision is scary,though she added normally your first adult decision is made long before the age of twenty-nine.I hold that as a point of pride.An accomplishment.When did you make your first adult decision?
I think I'll be ready to make a second adult decision in five to seven years,maybe.Lets not push it now.One step at a time.I'm just getting used to this adult decision making.It really makes you wonder.When I was a kid I remember seeing grown ups as all knowing omnipresent demigods.Ok,maybe it wasn't that extreme,but I did see them as all knowing adult figures.I trusted all the grown ups in my life we're adults and had at some point consciously passed from adolescence to adulthood.Now I'm twenty-nine.And I think inside I'm probably generally the same person I was when I was sixteen.There's been no progression into adulthood.No test of manhood.I just am.Just like the grown ups I looked up to when I was a child.Presumably.Maybe I'm just ridiculously childish.Well,obviously I'm ridiculously childish,what I mean is maybe I'm unique in my immaturity.I doubt it though.I might be a bit more immature than some but I've learned grown ups are just kids living in grownup bodies.That's the point I'm trying to make in my weird meandering way.
I'm listening to the song Who Loves the Sun by the Velvet Underground right now.I remember listening to this when I was sixteen.I remember walking around Toronto with this song on my discman imagining scenes for a film with this song as the soundtrack.I don't remember the scenes though.I also remember listening to the Velvet Undergrounds song Sunday Morning,on Sunday morning cause I thought that's what you did.Its funny cause the song really is one of the best Sunday morning songs ever written.Now I'm listening to Sweet Jane by the Velvet Underground.One of my favourite songs ever,ever,ever,ever.I literally can't actually think of a song right now that makes me happier.I guess that's good for me."Some people they like to go out dancing,and other peoples,they have to work.Just watch me now.And there's even some evil mothers,well there gonna tell you that everything is just dirt.You know that women never really faint,and that villains always blink they're eyes.And that,you know,children are the only ones who blush,and that life is just to die.But anyone who ever had a heart,oh,they wouldn't turn around and break it.And anyone who ever had a heart,they wouldn't turn around and hate it."Seriously,does it get any better than that?Lou Reed,man.Fucking Lou Reed.I mean it,read those lyrics again.I don't know if I've ever read better lyrics.Imagine writing something that good?He must have known it straight away too.He wrote those words,sat back and said fuck me...I'm good.I'm pretty sure he hates that song now though cause it got him so much mainstream attention back in the early seventies and overshadowed much of the work he did after.Anyway.
What else?I bought a book about Antonio Guadi I'm pretty excited to read.I've discovered more music than I can be bothered writing about and that I'm sure would only end up boring you to tears.I've realized I don't have many friends in Toronto nowadays.I guess travelling since I was twenty-one or twenty-two kind of stunted the growth of any relationships I may have had in Toronto.You reap what you sow I guess and I have no regrets.As it stands since Shawna left for China,I have exactly two friends.One of them is my cousin and the other one is a black cat.So make of that what you will.Fortunately I have a bunch of great great great friendships in Ireland,England and Scotland,that I hold very near to my heart.One might say in my heart really.Yeah.Friendships I consider to be more than friends.Whats the next step up from friends when your talking about dudes in an entirely,mostly non gay way?Brothers?Yeah,something like that.And fortunately and above all I have Nic too.My saving grace.Lets face it,she's the best thing that's ever happened to me.I wouldn't be making any adult decisions at all without her.And she comes in a package,because with her I get her unimaginably lovely mother and her brother.A man I admire more than I'm willing to admit.Ask me about it at any other time and I will deny deny deny.Plus I get to be friends with her friends,all of which are lovely,I get to be friends with her brothers friends,some of which are alright,some of which I can tolerate,I guess, and I have the friends I made living in her lovely town,although they may all deny it.So I guess I'm up in the end.
That got a bit too emotional there for a second.This empty house,this rainy night and the Velvet Underground are conspiring to soften me up.
So I'll change the subject,although really beneath the surface its not entirely changing the subject.I turn thirty next month.The big 3-0.Ooooooooooooo!Scary.Or its supposed to be I guess. Maybe there is an advantage to being immature.But I don't imagine it'll be much different than being twenty-nine.If you say I'll be thirty and married.Well,that sounds a little scarier and more grown up.But I'm looking forward to it.I've never had stability in my life really,at least not since I was a teenager.I'm looking forward to not having to worry about visas and when I'll be able to fly over to England or when Nic will be able to fly over to Canada or how long we'll have together this visit.I'm looking forward to actually being able to build a life with my beautiful bride to be.And the idea that at some point,we will,conceivably,be able to live in Canada or the United Kingdom without worry about red tape and bureaucracy makes me happy beyond belief.
I am also excited Spring is here or almost here.Its been a long long long long winter and I've had more colds then I can count.And oddly enough I think I just ran out of words.Rather abruptly.
So I'll go,I guess.I may have already said more than I'm comfortable saying.So don't judge me too harshly.And go listen to Emily by Joanna Newsom.